HOUSTON, THE PADRES FOUND TOM HANKS
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Last week we talked about the Padres being like Apollo 13 and how their new pitcher, Casey Mize, was like the exploding oxygen tank that nearly sent Apollo 13 spinning off into space.
Was that hyperbolic?
NO.
We said the Padres needed to find their Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton and Kevin Bacon to save them.
Save their Bacon.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL….
Sorry.
Well, the Padres found Tom Hanks.
Playing Tom Hanks: Fernando Tatis Jr.
Playing Bill Paxton: Jake Cronenworth.
Playing Kevin Bacon: Manny Machado.
Those three went back-to-back-to-back to open Sunday’s game against the Yankees, and the Padres went on to win 4-3 and take the series. It was only the second time in Padres history they opened a game with three straight home runs.
I mean, COME ON.
You can’t write this stuff.
Okay, technically I did write it last week.
But still.
And there were definitely some other Toms, Bills and Kevins who stepped up.
Michael King threw six scoreless innings Sunday and extended his scoreless streak to 19 innings. Mason Miller struck out the side in the ninth. And Luis Campusano, who had already hit the walk-off homer Friday night, added another homer Sunday that ended up being the difference.
Let’s just say the whole team stepped up.
Everybody was Tom Hanks this weekend.
And suddenly that exploding oxygen tank isn’t looking quite as catastrophic.
The Padres are still right there in the Wild Card race because Arizona REFUSES TO LOSE.
And honestly?
This Wild Card race is GOOD.
Nobody is going away.
And here’s where this gets really interesting.
The Padres and Diamondbacks finish the regular season against each other.
Three games. Arizona vs. San Diego.
If these two teams keep going like this, those final three games could decide who goes to the playoffs and who watches October from home.
MY GIANTS ARE WINNING THE WORLD SERIES NEXT YEAR
My Giants won yesterday.
Therefore, obviously, they’re winning the World Series next season.
I don’t see how anyone could reach a different conclusion.
The Dodgers have also won five straight.
Nobody cares.
Moving on.
AROUND MLB
Here’s something worth talking about: Kyle Schwarber is absolutely crushing baseballs.
Schwarber hit his MLB-leading 43rd home run Monday, providing the only run Philadelphia needed in a 1-0 win over Atlanta. Jesús Luzardo threw his first career complete game, allowed just two hits and struck out 12.
That’s a baseball game.
One run.
Two hits allowed.
Twelve strikeouts.
Go home.
THE NFL IS BACK
And now football is here.
Which means JUS officially has even more ways for things to get Jacked Up.
The NFL season is starting, which also means The Jacked List is about to get considerably busier.
Baseball playoff races.
Football starting.
The Padres trying to get Apollo 13 safely back to Earth.
My Giants preparing for their completely inevitable 2027 World Series championship.
And the Dodgers doing whatever they’re doing.
Sports are good right now.
If it’s sports and it’s Jacked Up, we cover it.
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