JUS NFL BLOG 9/22: DOLPHINS MAY BE MORE DANGEROUS THAN WE THOUGHT. RAMS CRUSH THE GIANTS.
NFL UPDATE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2026
AN IMPORTANT UPDATE ON ZAK AND THE DOLPHINS
Following yesterday’s column about my lifelong friend Zak Sos, the Miami Dolphins fan who has somehow survived nearly 30 years of Dolphins football, some new information has come to my attention.
Another friend of mine, who also grew up with Zak, sent me an article about dolphins.
This friend happens to be a marine biologist.
He also once got punched in the face by an emperor penguin.
True story.
So when it comes to potentially dangerous aquatic wildlife, I’m inclined to listen to a guy who’s already been assaulted by a penguin.
Anyway, he sent me this 2013 Business Insider article about dolphin-assisted childbirth.
Apparently, some people thought giving birth in the ocean surrounded by wild dolphins was a good idea.
The article explains that dolphins, despite their friendly reputation, can actually be pretty dangerous.
I don’t really know what to make of this.
I’m not a marine biologist.
My friend is.
And he’s already been punched by a penguin, which gives him a level of credibility in these matters that I simply cannot compete with.
But this does raise some important questions about the Miami Dolphins.
We’ve been treating them like a harmless football team for years.
Maybe that’s exactly what they want us to think.
Maybe they’re just waiting for the right moment.
Maybe that 35-13 loss to the 49ers was all part of the plan.
All I’m saying is, don’t sleep on the Dolphins.
They may attack.
And Zak?
I’ll keep it rolling somehow.
THE RAMS DESTROYED THE GIANTS. BUT LET’S SEE A REMATCH.
Meanwhile, the Rams welcomed the New York Giants to Los Angeles on Monday night and sent them home with a 28-6 beating.
Matthew Stafford threw four touchdown passes.
Davante Adams caught eight passes for 195 yards and two touchdowns.
Aaron Donald returned from retirement.
The Rams looked pretty damn good.
But there’s a problem with this one.
The Giants lost starting quarterback Jaxson Dart on their opening drive.
Dart took a hit, injured his left knee and couldn’t continue. Jameis Winston came in, and suddenly the Giants were trying to beat the Rams without the guy who was supposed to run their offense.
Not exactly ideal.
Now, I’m not saying the Giants would have won with Dart.
The Rams were playing some serious football.
And when Stafford is throwing four touchdown passes and Adams is catching everything within the same ZIP code, you’re probably going to have a difficult evening regardless of who’s playing quarterback.
But I’d really like to see these two teams play again with everybody healthy.
Both starting quarterbacks.
Both teams at full strength.
Let’s see what happens.
As for Dart, early reports indicated a possible sprained MCL, with further testing needed to establish the extent of the injury.
Subsequent reporting has raised concern that it could be more serious. Latest reporting on Dart’s injury.
Hopefully, he’s back sooner rather than later.
Because the last thing anybody wants is to see a promising young quarterback’s season derailed in Week 2.
TODAY’S JACKED LIST IS GETTING CROWDED
And Dart isn’t the only one.
The Giants also saw Malik Nabers injure his shoulder, offensive tackle Andrew Thomas suffer a groin injury and Brian Burns leave with an ankle problem. Nabers managed to return, but that’s an awful lot of medical attention for one Monday night.
Add that to the injuries piling up around the rest of the NFL, and we’re going to have ourselves a pretty substantial Jacked List.
We’ll have a separate breakdown of Dart’s injury, the other quarterbacks who went down, the rest of the significant Week 2 injuries and who’s working their way back onto the Unjacked List.
In the meantime, the 49ers are 2-0, the Rams are back in business, and the Miami Dolphins may be plotting an aquatic assault.
Keep your eyes on the water.
And whatever happens, keep it rolling somehow.
Editorial note: The Business Insider article is from 2013 and discusses risks associated with wild dolphins, not the Miami football team. The Dolphins material is satire. Dart’s injury status should be checked again before the separate Jacked List is published, because reporting on its severity is developing.
